You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment preparing for her comeback record in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her newish partner, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for a decade, on top of the world. Then in March she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The musician, real name Jessica Cornish, is famous for telling it as it is. The album, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an open book, tackling every ounce of devastation she’d faced since she last recorded music (endometrial issues, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicide) with characteristic openness. The first single, No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Then follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was living her best life, while at the same time coping with her cancer. A month later she disclosed her condition, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She gives me her best “Seriously?” expression. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
Our interview takes place at a studio in the capital. She is wearing a light brown synthetic jacket, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and large glasses. Picture biker chic meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “I feel like I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the film. “That’s what people called me at school!” She smiles. Cornish is quick, unfiltered and filter-free. She says she has always been interested in humor and is aiming for her initial standup show next year. “I love making people laugh. On stage I frequently joke about the audience.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was getting ready for an slot at the Baftas when she noticed an abnormality. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an test, and they were, like, ‘It looks like nothing; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I get up.’ And they said, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had assured herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had so much on.
“It was a fortnight prior from releasing the album after years away and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call believing it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have indicated malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. You know when you have emergency surgery you roll down in a bed, but this time I just strolled down with a medical attire and my bum hanging out. It felt surreal.” But, Cornish says, she’s been blessed. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the op. “It’s terrible, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened four months ago and my affected breast now looks like a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”
The next operation is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she notes, are now “asymmetrical. The implant is larger than before. That’s impolite! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”
Past Medical Issues
She is no stranger to illness. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so positive because she’s familiar with medical emergencies. Many times they occur alongside career highs, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or blow, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Hold on.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside high points for me; a serious or unusual issue has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her youth, already beginning featuring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of 9). That’s when she was told about the cardiac issue Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an IV drip, and being readmitted at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and young Jessica has become part of the trio Soul Deep while enrolled in the Brit School. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in 2020 I had a car crash and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a year.”
Hey, I say, wait, I need a moment. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
